I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
