I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
