I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
