i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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