So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
