have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
