so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
