You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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