She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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