Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
