we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
