I think im going to throw up on grandma
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
