It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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