the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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