You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
