Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
