I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
