your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
