We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
pray to the hookup gods
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
