dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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