Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
