well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
This is the high leading the old right now
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
A bitchslap is in order.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
