Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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