She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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