Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
