I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
