He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
