Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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