she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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