Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
