my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
