when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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