is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Barsexuality is the new black.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
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