What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
