Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
i think im in europe. pls send help
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
