More tranny stories later!
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
