I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
