Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
