Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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