Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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