If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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