South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
