If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
