What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
