"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
