...so i touched it.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
