oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
