I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
