I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
