My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
