perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
