Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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